Nostalgia
by passionsmuse
Summary: someone returns from the past...continuation (chapt4 up)
1. Take1

Disclaimer: Hellsing is not mine… I merely borrow. What transpires below is mine though… and so is Ken…

A trip down memory lane… a younger, softer Integra… If it helps, this was written in a pensive mood. 

@-`-- passionsmuse

Nostalgia – Take1 

"Not celebrating? It is the last day of school you know…. I'd noticed you hadn't left yet. So what are you doing all by yourself in an empty classroom?" He moved over to where she was standing by the window. Now both were looking down at the empty courtyard. 

"I have to confess I don't see what's so exciting about staring at nothing."

"That's it isn't it? Nothing.. soon there will be nothing. We graduate, we move on… " … … 

"Tell me… since we will probably never see each other again -  why don't you smile?"

"Why ask me now when we've hardly talked in two years."  

"Because I've never dared to… and when I saw you standing by the window alone, I thought to myself: it's now or never."

His frankness surprised her. _Am I that intimidating? that unapproachable?_ She glanced up at him, sifting what to say… 

"Sometimes, people are born into lives, legacies, where there is nothing much to smile about."

"And yours is such a one?"

"Yes."

He did not expect such a direct answer. They continued staring out of the window. It was getting late, the trees and sky were stained with the reddish hue of a dying sun. 

"You know, you would look so much more beautiful if you smile more." 

She frowned..

"Nonono..see.. that's what I mean.. don't frown." He reached out to smooth her forehead. "There…much better."

_A normal life.. could I ever lead a normal life…_

"You know I've never…" Slowly he inclined his head towards hers. 

His eyes, such intensity… it reminded her of… dark hair, mocking red eyes and white white white teeth …

"Who?"

Her eyes widened slightly.

"You called a name…"

Her heart started pounding… "No…I didn't.." she protested weakly. 

"It sounded like.. Alu…"

Just then something in the courtyard caught her eye. Her eyes narrowed. 

"Ken… I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Will I see you at the ball?"

She hesitated for a fraction of a second…

He sighed after her retreating back.

"Master…" That white grin…

She glared wordlessly at him as she got into the waiting car.

Alucard smiled, highly amused… there was so much hatred in that look.


	2. Nostalgia Requiem

**Back**… decided (finally) to put this up… it's been sitting in my comp for weeks now but wasn't sure if I wanted to continue Nostalgia or not. Then again… this isn't exactly the original direction I wanted to take Nostalgia in … but… we'll see how it goes, if it's being read ^^ 

Once more.. I don't own Hellsing… but I do owe Ken(neth) & Jura 

@-`-- passionsmuse  2002

Nostalgia - Requiem 

She stared unbelievingly as the cage emerged. _Alucard! How could he have captured Alucard!_

"You want to know how? Simple my dear." She frowned as Jura shifted into an exact likeness of her. 

"Alucard…" even her voice was exactly the same! "Not something he could resist could he? His master in trouble?" Jura shifted back.

She glanced at the silver-shackled vampire in the cage.

"You did not know.."  
"The silver dulled my senses…master."

"I have another surprise for you. I found someone you might like to see."

Another cage rose from the floor.

_…KEN..! _Her heart sank… 

"Integra! What is this place? Who is that?"

"Now, you've got a very important choice to make Integra. Do you save your pet? Or do you save the human? You cannot save both. Personally, I think the choice is very clear. But will you do it?"

"You will not get away with this Jura."

"Oh I know I won't. You _will_ get me sooner or later, but … till then, remember this: I _made_ you choose…" Laughing the other vampire vanished. A gun and a single bullet clattered to the ground.

She turned to the frightened human male. Face expressionless.

"Integra…?"

"Do you believe in vampires, Kenneth?"

"n..no…I don't think… I …"

"Jura is one. So is Alucard." 

Kenneth glanced at the opposite cage.

"… … the guy… the guy who always picks you up from school…"

"yes. He protects me… _when he can_."

Alucard chuckled.

"Remember when I said that some people are born into legacies in which there's nothing to smile about?"  
"yes…"

"this is my legacy… this is what I do… kill vampires to protect the human race." Slowly, calmly, almost casually, she loaded the bullet… "Ken, touch your neck, and tell me are there two small puncture wounds."

The bewildered teenager did as told. "no…"

Her head shot up, "no?" 

"No."

Her shoulders sagged a little. Alucard grinned…feeling his gaze on her, she glanced up sharply at him through narrowed eyes. They stared at each other, silently, for a few moments. His smile never fading. 

"Integra…?" she turned back to Kenneth, slowly.

"I can free only one…" She watched his face pale. "I cannot have one whom my enemies can use against me."

"Was his the name you whispered."

She looked steadily at him but did not answer. "…We can turn you." 

"No."

"Why?"

He shook his head. 

… _but of course I know why… how could I even have offered him such an existence? … _

Finally she raised her bowed head. "Kenneth, I do not ask you to forgive me." she raised the gun.

The instant the bullet was fired, the other cage opened. Quickly, she ran over to support the weakened vampire.

"Difficult choice, little one…"

"Do not pride youself, vampire."

"no… I dare not, master. But now that I've seen what you are capable of, serving under you would be a great pleasure."

… … … 

That night, she burned all the dresses and skirts in her wardrobe. 

"Walter, call my tailor tomorrow." 

"Yes, Sir."

He looked worriedly at the teenager. She was staring into the flickering flames. For a moment, her eyes looked blood red. A shudder ran through him but when he looked again, they were their normal icy blue.

… … … 

"It was a brave decision."

She sat up.

"Are you going soft, Alucard? Complimenting me?"

He smirked. "You think about it, every year, on this night. Humans are weak. Sentimental… you allow your pasts to control you."

"Remembering reminds me what I have to do."

He laughed.

"Don't forget. The…  existence you have now, you owe to me."

"Yes master, I remember…" he bowed slightly before vanishing.

Jura… where are you? I am waiting… 


	3. Return

**Preliminaries/Disclaimer..blah…: ** A sort of continuation to _Nostalgia  - Requiem_. This is kind of, sort of, a pet story line (I like Ken)… I know it's neither fantastically written nor terribly in character or anything, though I try to keep the characters in tolerable range… but *shrug*. Anyway , frankly I am getting a little tired of all this (posting and writing)… perhaps it's time to retreat back to writing them (the stories) just for myself… There is about just about enough (of the stuff that I've _already_ written) for one more installation for Nostalgia, or rather the Ken story-line.  I'm no good at continuations, starting or ending a story.. I just plain don't work that way. I'm more of an episodic person, writing in fits and starts, bits here and there…. Plus I don't think I'm anywhere near being a gd or original writer so to spare you guys *grin*.  Yar, so yes just to let you guys know. Oh one more thing, I originally had plans for _BloodLust_ too, but decided against it, the stuff I wrote just wasn't going anywhere, as for _Once More_, plain no inspiration to con't that one… so yar.. what's left.. hmm… just enjoy this (I hope you do). I've enjoyed writing them all and many many thanks and bows to ALL who've ever reviewed my stuff  ^^  really glad you guys liked them enough =)  Cheers and thanks!

Oh and… all characters of Hellsing do not belong to me…but I do own Ken(neth) and Jura..

@-`--- passionsmuse 

Return 

"There is someone here," Alucard said suddenly. 

She looked up from her desk. The vampire was standing still, head cocked as if listening. Suddenly his head shot up, like a wolf scenting its prey and with a wide, delighted smile, he vanished. She was about to leave to warn Walter, when a figure materialised in the room. Involuntarily she took a step back.

"It's been a while, Integra…."

It was a while before she could speak …" _Ken…_" 

The male laughed softly. "yes…"

"But… I … what happened," she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Just what I didn't want."

"_Jura_." She hissed through clenched teeth.

A small smile… "yes… he hoped I would hate you enough to kill you. But he never was human enough to understand one… you've been working hard, Integra."

She didn't flinch when he softly stroked her cheek. _This wasn't happening… _

"Alucard has protected you well…. No, remember what I said? No frowning…"

"Ken…" 

"I came to warn you. Jura is coming. Be careful…." He paused. "Alucard returns. I have to go… one last thing… perhaps he didn't resist capture as much as you would have expected." 

She looked at him in disbelief.

"Maybe we will see each other again, maybe not." He touched a finger under her chin as he faded.  "_Goodbye Integra…" _

Stunned, staggered and furious, she fell back into her chair. She was staring unseeing at the opposite wall, when Alucard phased in. 

"A decoy. But he is gone now…"

"That night, when Ken died. How, exactly did they capture you?" Slowly she raised her eyes to his.

He stared insolently back, a small smirk on his lips.

"With powers like yours, I find it strange that you were captured so easily?" 

Standing with such force that her chair fell over, she raised her gun to his head. "I should have killed you that day." 

He laughed, a low, amused, defiant laugh. "you couldn't do it then, you won't be able to do it now."

The safety-catch clicked loudly in the silence. "I was younger then."

A knock on the door and Walter's voice as he opened it, "Integra.." He paused, taking in the scene in front of him.

"Count yourself lucky this time."

"Yes, _master." Alucard grinned as he faded out._

"The reports you requested," said Walter handing the folders over to her.

… … …

Outside, it was a cold, foggy night. Those who were wise stayed indoors. This was not a night for ordinary humans. Ken was walking down the street, when suddenly the street lights flickered and a darkness so chilling rose around him. He turned. A silhouette of a person stood at the end of the street. 

"You upset her," a cold voice said softly.

"No more than you."

"She is my, master. Would I hurt her?"

"You seem to willingly."

Alucard laughed. It was not a pleasant sound to hear in the dark of night. 

"I delight in pain, causing pain… especially to her." The darkness suddenly intensified. Red eyes glowed. "Any last words, Ken…"

"You should not have left her alone. Jura is coming for her."

Alucard snarled at the young vampire and the unnatural darkness lifted.

"Perhaps if you were not so vain to purse me…"

The two male vampires stared steadily at each other.

Suddenly Alucard laughed. "You love her, you pathetic fool…" 

Ken didn't even blink. "But she doesn't love me."

Alucard arched a very amused eyebrow. "still so _human… I am beyond such petty things. I will enjoy killing you." Then he vanished._


	4. Return Part2

**Disclaimer**: don't own Hellsing blahblah… ok folks, part4 as promised… last of it too… (for now? I might decide to con't this one day who knows… sorry if people were expecting to see more of Jura hehe… I know I would but I can't write action or carry a story for long sorry ) … to all who've been reading: love you guys. Hope you enjoy this as much as I really did enjoy writing it. 

Tain: ^^ thanks for liking Ken…  

Teleute: hehe we've talked enough about him already yes? =) thanks…

All the rest: sorry no personal, individual stuff but know that you're appreciated..

Ok! 'nuff said… here we go… enjoy     @-`--- passionsmuse 

**Return – Part2**   (oops forgot to put Part1 for the previous installment )

She had fallen asleep over her desk, when he returned, the reports Walter brought in a pile beside her outstretched arm. The past two weeks had exhausted her. Lack of sleep, loss of men, an irritating pet vampire and now Ken, no, such a combination did not a happy master make. He grinned and toyed with the idea of waking her, but then the grin faded …

_I could kill her …free myself…__I would no longer be bound to a mortal… __but… this mortal was different… "she does not love me" Ken's words held an implication he was not willing to admit to… he was after all beyond human emotions. __…but… he looked up at the portrait hanging behind the desk. A smirk slowly spread across  his face._

She stirred. Quickly he stepped back into the shadows. Groggily she shook her head, then thinking no one else in the room, she allowed herself to slump back down onto the table top for a few seconds before finally shovind herself upright with a sigh. It was then that she noticed two red glows in the corner. 

"You're back," she said coldly.

She saw the whiteness of a grin.

"Fed I suppose? I don't need to ask Walter to get you some medical packs do I?"

He chuckled. "You do. I was hunting prey but of a different kind."

Her eyes narrowed. "Do I want to know this?"

"Ken…" he hissed, stepping forward.

Her eyes flashed in anger. "What did you do…"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "nothing…"

"Don't you ever dare touch him."

"You feel guilty… I like guilt."

"I'm amazed you were ever human once." She turned to go, but was blocked by a lean body.

"Little master… so human." He chuckled softly looking down at her.

She refused to look at him.

"Do you love him?"

She tried to side-step him but was easily stopped. 

"What do you want!" she snarled glaring at him. The anger in her eyes were soon replaced by confusion.

He was smiling, strangely. None of his usual smart-ass smirks. Just an amused smile, which held the hint of possibility in it… _what possibility she did not know and did not really want to know…_

_… this is too confusing… first Ken now this?…my head… I need rest…_

Narrowing her eyes she said softly and dangerously, "unless you really want a bullet through your skull, you will let me go. You have yet to pay for allowing yourself to be caught."

He grinned, a wide, toothed smile. "As you wish, my master." 


End file.
